Musings Related to That Story You're Probably Tired of Hearing by Now

So, first, a little piece of that story I don't think I mentioned the first time around. Right after I prayed for Greg at Breathe Festival 2012, he told me that things might have felt better, but he wasn't completely sure. About that time, I felt like I heard God say "Don't stop asking" (and for those of you who've never had an experience where you've heard something from God, it's about as odd as it sounds).

Anyway, I thought at the time that that meant "Don't stop asking for healing for Greg," even after Breathe was over. So I kept praying for him for several weeks. But when I talked to Greg at Breath 2013, he seemed to think it happened right then and there during Breathe 2012. So that got me thinking, if he was already healed in July, why would God have me keep praying for him through August?

It seriously took me until a few weeks ago (and Breathe 2013 was in July), to think of a good answer to that question: maybe He didn't mean "Don't stop asking for healing for Greg," but rather "Don't stop asking for healing." Period. As in never. As in "Don't stop asking for me to do what I've now show you that I can and am willing to do."

But that's not easy. Especially because that whole experience almost seems like a dream. Like it didn't really happen, or didn't happen to me. Like it was just a story, and not a real experience. Like it was a one-time thing that won't ever happen again. I asked for healing a number of times since then, but quite honestly, I'm filled with doubt that God really wants to use me again. And worse, each time nothing happens, I feel like I'm letting Him down with my lack of faith, like it's my fault they're not healed. Like I need to do more.

And I know God is not a force, but a person. He is not made to do my bidding through the incantations of nice-sounding words and "a sincere heart." No. Those miraculous blessings are gifts. We receive them because we ask, and we are His children, and He loves us. That's all. It's that simple, and I know that. Or at least I think I do.

But I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

And I'm getting discouraged.

That Story I Already Posted: Now In Video Form!

So, back in July I wrote a post called It's Just Like Me about this crazy experience I had. Anyway, here is a video to me telling an abbreviated version of that same story. Yeah, I know, it's kind of a cop-out of a post, but I felt like I should share it anyhow.